So, you want to know how to stop feeling depressed and emotionally drained all of the time?
I wish I could say that I have some form of overnight revelation or epiphany to share with you today.
You know, the type where I say that I snapped out of the detrimental mental state I was in with the quickness, but I’d be lying to you, so I’d rather be honest; it was hard!
But, if you want some real life techniques to begin the healing, and some effective Energy Work methods that you can start using today, then continue reading.
(Trigger warning, and quick disclaimer: the information in this post may trigger feelings and emotions that you may want to avoid, and I am in no way offering medical advice. This post is solely to share with you what I did when I was feeling depressed and how I did it.)
Sometimes, you must RECONSTRUCT most of your programmed belief system in order to really get to that place in life where you can truly be happy and accepting of yourself.
I’m not talking about tweaking small setbacks today, I’m talking about working through the deep down hurtful stuff (Deep Impact Mind Work), the memories and beliefs that tear you apart from the inside-out…
In today’s post, I’m sharing how I became a new person after suffering through some severely traumatic experiences in my life, and how you can do the same.
It is necessary to REBOOT and hit that RESTART button when you hit certain downfalls.
You will hear so many coaches and gurus refer to what I’m about to discuss, as “reconditioning” or “rewiring” your mind/brain.
In this post I want to emphasize that I look at it a tad bit different, and by looking at it in this way, I was able to change things in my life drastically.
My hope in sharing this process with you, is that it in some way may lighten your emotional load and help you do the same.
I like to use the word “re-construct” or “re-building.”
Think of it this way, when the foundation of a building or structure is damaged, or threatened, it will be demolished, then re-constructed. You will waste your time rewiring and reconditioning the structure without restoring its foundation, and that must be done from the bottom up.
In this same fashion you must restore your right to profound change; It’s the elimination of one way of being to construct a new way of being.
So, instead of trying to “recondition” or “rewire” the thoughts that hurt, I want you to think of it as a reconstruction of sorts. Become the architect, create the blueprint, and get to building the trajectory of your healing and new found self.
Here’s how I did it…
From struggling through my childhood years, to drug addiction, heartbreak, and domestic violence as an adult, I had an extreme amount of resentment built up.
I was mad at the world and it showed in the detrimental path that I was on for a very long time.
I was depressed, unproductive, isolated, embarrassed, lonely, and I felt absolutely broken.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw failure staring back at me.
I tried to build new habits, force myself out of depression, I even went to church searching for some spiritual relief; hoping for a miracle to cure my wounds and whisk away the pain.
It took me years to realize that there was no REAL change I could make to the person that I was in that very moment.
I had to completely reconstruct the thoughts and beliefs that I had about myself.
In order to be happy and find purpose in my life, I had to become willing to accept what I’d been through, in order to change and truly discover who I was.
Reconstructing my entire thought process is what I had to do to become the person that I am today.
I hit the RESTART button, and it all began with 2 daily rituals that I want to share with you today.
Developing a deep rooted sense of forgiveness.
Forgive yourself and others.
This will not happen easily, but I believe in you! You are stronger than you think.
It’s very hard to get over how others have made you feel, especially when the treatment stems from someone you trusted or genuinely cared for. It’s even harder to get out of your own head about “allowing” these things to happen in the first place, and that leads to self-blame.
What others did to you and how they made you feel is not your reality, it was and probably still is their reality. Even if it was more of a circumstance, opposed to a direct affliction, the same antidote may be applied.
You may be a piece in someone else’s puzzle and that may bring about some “why me?…” questions, mostly because you were hurt in the process.
It’s one of those things that you had no control over, but when it is deep in your Heart’s Pain Points it isn’t so simple at all.
When people treat others badly, when they talk down to or hurt other people, both mentally/emotionally and physically, something inside of them is incomplete. It had, and has, absolutely nothing to do with you.
With compassion you can reconstruct the experience as a whole. Allow your vulnerability to shine through. In this way you can begin to create the new person that you desire to be, a person who is no longer a victim to the pain.
Once you’ve accomplished this, you can alter the existence of the experience altogether by replacing it and giving it a whole new meaning.
When I was 17 years old I was date raped by someone who was supposed to be a friend, and I was turned away by the authorities.
The rape kit at the hospital showed that there was more than 1 assailant and I have to live with that for the rest of my life, with no justice served. I held on to the clothes that I had on that night for two whole years.
Everyday I passed the bag, and my stomach would turn. I began to feel disgusted with myself, and began to replay that night in my head, thinking of things that I could have done differently. I went into a looooooong episode of depression behind this.
When I began my forgiveness rituals, this was one of the hardest to work through.
How do I learn to forgive someone who has violated my body, and my soul, all in one night that I can’t take back? No matter how many times I replayed it in my head, it did not change my reality, it only made it worse.
When I stopped blaming myself, the healing began. I asked “what must a person who can do such things have gone through in their own lives?”
I felt sorry for him and whatever his circumstance.
I prayed for him and that’s when it happened, the shift occurred. I was no longer a silent victim.
I began to do this same thing when it came to every other aspect in my past and present reality that made me feel less than.
The forgiveness ritual involved breathing exercises and visualization.
Create a mantra that you can repeat at the start of your day that includes “I let go and let be, that is no longer me.”
Every morning my mantra was:
“I will not fear my reflection. I let go and let be, that is no longer me.”
I showered every morning while repeating my mantra, envisioning the water washing away all impurities of my past. After a while, I felt at ease and really thought of whoever caused me pain with compassion, love, and light. Washing away the self blame and disgrace, right down the drain.
It was a ritual that I faithfully kept until I no longer felt the need to repeat it anymore, it became what I truly felt. Living in constant turmoil and feeling victimized was no longer who I was.
Starting your day geared toward forgiveness will always open your mind and heart to endless change, and most importantly self- love.
What you give out, you get back, so if you are emanating love, compassion, and practicing this ritual on a daily basis, you will begin to alter your subconscious mind. The reality of your emotions and thoughts will begin to mirror your attempt.
Your only responsibility in this small technique in the reconstructing process is to not skip a day. Perform the “Forgiveness Ritual” daily.
You are conditioning your mind to process a thought differently, specifically the thoughts that make you feel the pain from any past experience.
Every feeling is attached to a thought, or you wouldn’t feel anything at all. It all starts with the thought that enters your mind. Think of the experience in a different light and the feeling attached to it will begin to change too.
Let your vulnerability shine through –
Many of us get stuck in a habitual way of thinking because we are highly connected to our emotions. However, being aware of your emotions, of how you feel, should never be deemed a weakness.
You are allowing yourself to experience, to love and to live freely, with trust and faith in the good that exists in the world. That’s a beautiful thing, it should never be regarded as a weakness.
We all look for vulnerabilities in others.
How else do we remain open to love, trust, and experience soul connections?
It’s just unfortunate that many who find it, abuse it. Some do it without even realizing it. The lack or loss of deep connection to others can run anyone into a depressive rut.
Closing the doors and isolating yourself may seem tempting, but your light was not meant to be kept secluded. You have purpose my dear, and I’m here to remind you of that!
Everyday remind yourself of your beauty and strength.
It’s important that you start small.
Don’t set a goal that will overwhelm you and that you will most likely not stick to.
Here’s an example of how I began to combat my adult depression back in 2013:
I was sleeping my days away. I set a goal of simply waking up, and getting fully dressed (even if I wasn’t going out). After a week, I added making one phone call to a friend or family member after I got dressed.
After two weeks, I then added, get up, get dressed, and drink my coffee at a local shop. This got me out of the house.
The next month, I invited a friend or family member to meet me at the shop. (I failed a lot along the way, but one small step was a big win. I always felt better afterwards, I know you will too.)
Shifting from a very dark place emotionally and mentally is not easy. Every little step is a milestone. Before you know it, you will be making strides and finding yourself again.
Challenge the toxic habit (your subconscious need) of talking about it (“it” being the problem/ the Heart’s Pain Point.)
When you live through hurtful life experiences (without you even noticing) you refer to it, a lot.
Well, let’s think about this for a second. You have been down and out about something hurtful for a while and when you begin to re-enter the social sphere, you really don’t have much to chat about, but that which you know.
It’s okay to say that. For instance, I told my sister that I’ve been isolated for so long that I don’t even know what to talk about, and this helped clear up any awkward silence.
I speak from experience.
Simply controlling your urge to speak on it will set the reset button into overdrive; the reconstruction of your mind requires for you to take away the power of the experience itself, but only once you have accepted it.
Think of it this way, a person, let’s say a speaker or even a preacher may share a testimony. During this testimony they share what may have tore them apart, but they quickly shift and focus on the glorious transition it caused in their life.
Try your hardest not to talk about it, or even mention it, unless it’s for the purpose of forgiving in meditation, or uplifting others.
While venting and expressing yourself is very healthy, you need to realize that the simple act of speaking on it may cause you to relive the experiences. You must steer clear of triggers outside of a controlled setting.
So yes, have your moment with someone (therapist, psychologist, family, friend etc.) but vow to leave it there when you’re done.
You continue to give the experience life if you continue to speak on it time and time again. Let it go with your morning forgiveness ritual.
Let it go with intent. The feelings and emotions no longer have a place in your life.
You will slip up on this one and that’s okay, trauma lives within and governs so much of your thought process, but when you become aware that you are doing it, admit it and with intent change the perspective and end goal of the conversation. (For example: “I say that to say – insert positive perspective/ lesson/ triumph)
I would say, “why am I even talking about this, (XYZ) is not even worth my breath, please stop me if you hear I revert back to that topic.” Then I’d quickly change the topic or simply stay silent. I did this for a long time, it took some getting used to.
While letting your vulnerability shine through may seem like a mountain to climb, I can reassure you that people will be open to your candor, and there are so many beautiful souls out in the world that are ready, willing, and able to help you reconstruct from the inside-out.
Allow love and life back in.
Begin with these 2 exercises; as simple as they may seem to alot of people, I know it’s hard for those battling depression and PTSD.
With time, they’ve helped me reconstruct my emotions surrounding what I’ve experienced, build new relationships, and start writing again.
I pray that you find peace and that these techniques work for you.
Until next time…
I truly do appreciate you!